it's different.







top: ASOS maternity // boyfriend jeans c/o Soon Maternity  //  head scarf: my grammie's  // Oscar: French Bulldog
sandals (i wear these basically everyday w/ everything): Lotta from Stokholm // baby bump: 21 1/2 weeks

It makes sense that this pregnancy would be different than the last time. The obvious - I'm two years older. I have a toddler to chase around. I'm having a boy. Those alone stand to make things vastly different. And we don't even have to go into any of my "pregnancy side affects" that I'm getting to experience this time.  All that aside, it is different.

And different isn't bad.  It's actually beautifully good.  I don't mean that in a "last time was awful and anything but beautiful" way, but in a way that I feel what I'm calling the two C's: Confident & Calm.  

I'm by no means a pregnancy pro (if that exists?) - I have friends at church who have done the pregnancy dance 8 or more times!  But there is something about having walked this path before -- having already gained the weight, felt the heart burn, bore the rude comments and unnecessarily told horror stories, and made it to the other side.

The first time, I must admit, was an easy pregnancy in terms of things.  But two things I allowed myself to do was worry and doubt.  Doubt myself.  Doubt what my body was meant to do.  Doubt that I would feel beautiful on the other side of pregnancy.  Worry that things were wrong with my body or the baby.  Worry that I was "being pregnant wrong," or not bonding with the baby inside of me correctly, or enough, or even at all.  I was embarrassed that I wasn't goo goo gaa gaa loooove being pregnant.  

This time?  No, I'm sure I don't have it all right, but I do have a peace.  The truths that kept repeating in my heart, but I didn't pay attention to quite enough last time, have sunk deeper into my being and soak every part of my day.  

Because this is the truth:  I am pregnant by blessing of a loving Savior.  My body was created not just to be able to bear a child, but to bear this child.  My body is beautiful -- made without mistake.  The stretch marks and oddly replaced "parts" after delivery are marks of a warrior woman.  If the worst were to happen, I will still have 10 Million reasons to give praise God.  People's comments rarely come out of ugly places, but just out of a desire to connect with me & I need to give them grace.  Comparison is not just the thief of joy, but will tear your down to the core.  OH, and so much more.

It's different this go.



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22 comments...:

  1. awwww what a beautiful post!! and i am soo happy you are having a boY!! i want a girl now heehhe!!

    xo,
    Sandy
    Sandy a la Mode

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  2. You are beautiful!
    And I couldn't agree with your words more. Our bodies are broken for something of high value, and in return we receive an insurmountable amount of Joy:)
    Thinking of you!

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  3. You took the words right out of my mouth with this one! #2 just feels... different.

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  4. I just had my second girl 5 weeks ago. Mine are 15 months apart, and the second pregnancy was truly easier-much more laid back and the even better news is that even being a mom to 2 littles is easier than the first time! You look great-beautiful photos and I can't wait to see how being of mother of 2 makes you glow like you never thought possible!

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  5. And you're just downright beautiful with him. I remember your "worry" post when you were pregnant with Magnolia and I remember thinking how you calmed my biggest fear about pregnancy. So thank you for this one. I'll remember it always.

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  6. I'm pregnant with number two as well, and totally relate to the worry and doubt the first time around...plus everything about the body changes. I don't regret a single change that has happended to my body, even though I remember worrying about it so so much. The great blessing our sweet Asher is to us can't compare :). Beautiful post, words and pictures!
    Amanda

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  7. So beautifully written! You have such a gift for words. I am 27 weeks along with my second and echo your words. Thank you for sharing.

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  9. Okay, take 2 on the comment... You are beautiful, Blair, inside and out. Thank you for sharing your heart, you are always such an encouragement!!
    xoxo

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  10. You are so beautiful, inside and out. Love this! You are so right abou comparison, my hubby and I were just talking about its destructive ways last night.

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  11. thanks for sharing this. it was beautiful. i am pregnant for the first time and have had lots of worries about the baby/pregnancy, as well as feelings of insecurities. thanks for your wise words - i need to take them to heart!

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  12. Beautifully done--you are so lovely!

    blue hue wonderland

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  13. I love how different it is each time! I think after the first, you really "get" it. You know how wonderful it is to be a mom, and you know what to expect. You know how your heart is going to explode with joy when you meet that tiny human, and you know how amazing it's all going to be. You are looking amazing by the way :)

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  14. Indeed...10 million reasons to praise God! What a beautiful description of your pregnancy. You look amazing!

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  15. beautiful. just, beautiful.

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  16. This is beautiful! YOU are beautiful! I enjoyed this, and really loved the styling of your photos! Truly stunning!

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  17. Absolutely beautiful pictures.

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  18. i'm loving walking this journey with you each week, even in this tiny way. you are teaching me much about something i've never experienced. thanks for linking up with dress for the day - it's about so much more than the clothes we wear.

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  19. You look absolutely gorgeous in these photos. And I love this entry.

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  20. You are so right on every count. To fear, trust/hope in the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and the wisdom of God is shining through you, Blair. So proud of you and David. God's finger sketched every beautiful line of you and this baby and He doesn't make mistakes. :) I hope you protect yourself fiercely if the enemy tries to make you fear anything but God's Truth. My <3

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  21. Love this post, Blair. You look beautiful and so peaceful. I'm 34 weeks with my boy, and this pregnancy has been waaay different for me too. I love what you said about how people's comments rarely come out of ugly places but they are just trying to connect with you. SO TRUE! xoxo

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