Don't Go Changin'
*This post is a "rerun" originally "aired" in May as a guest post on So, About What I Said*
What is the cost of love? Sadly, a lot of times, the ultimate expense for women is their individuality, dignity, and self confidence. I believe we have all fallen, at one point or another, into the habit of sacrificing who we are in order to accommodate the desires and expectations of the man of our affections. While we quest for love, we forget to love ourselves. Perhaps the worst part of it all is that most of society and social media points us all in this direction. The ads scream at us, “wear/drink/buy/do/don't do/be xyz & you will be loved beyond your wildest dreams.”
So we start to buy into it. We give up things we like, we lie about what we are good at, we starve ourselves, we pay money to change our looks...before we know it, not even we know who we are. And if God forbid, one shallow man does give us a glance, we only spiral deeper into the lies that these sacrifices are truly the road to real love. Is that glance worth it? Say you start dating said man, he is attracted to the glitz & glamour you have dressed up in – maybe it's the high profile job (you hate it, but it pays the bills), maybe its the designer outfit (you're in debt to keep up with the trends), maybe its a level of affection you've decided to give more freely...whatever it might be, is it you? And maybe it will feel like love for a while, maybe it will feel like walking on air, and maybe you'll feel beautiful, but for how long will we believe? The truth of the matter is, if we aren't being ourselves & loving ourselves for who we are, not only are we incapable of receiving true love, but we are incapable of giving it.
Hear me when I say this, its not wrong to want designer outfits, try something new, or even change your looks, but we've got to do it for ourselves and for no one else. Our actions should solidify who we are, not confuse. Rest in the quiet confidence of who you are & you will be loved.