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Pregnant? No, I just want a fritter!

fritters does not equal pregnant

I just want an apple fritter. Is that a crime? Is it not okay for a thin gal to have a craving for a decadent treat? I should be free to reveal my deepest food cravings without speculation, without worry, and without judgment. Instead, NO. I am not allowed such privileges. I can't tell a co-worker over a cup of tea that I wish someone would bring in some brownies. At almost 26 & married for 3 years your appetite & your mood apparently becomes everyone else's business. No random cravings allowed & no sudden changes in mood because before you know it, your mom has called because she heard you were pregnant from her neighbor who heard it from your co-worker's auntie.

Yes, I would like to have children. Yes, I have been married for 3 years. But, NO -- I am not preggers. Please, world, let me be. I've tried to take it as a compliment that people care & are excited to have more Blairs in the world, but I would love some peace and respect.

Oh, and if you too are in my situation, you know that you can never refuse a drink. And if you DO refuse once, make sure not to do it again the next time you see the same folks. That too is a public statement that you of course must be pregnant.

And it goes without saying that you should never come into work feeling a wee bit sick or tired and then feel better that afternoon. Duh--that has morning sickness written all over it. So either come in sick and stay sick the rest of the day or come in full of smiles and giggles. There just is no rest for the married-26-year-old-non-baby-mamma.

So friends, family, co-workers, minor acquaintances, & strangers alike, please do not ask me if I am pregnant. Whenever I am, it will be mine to tell & not yours to ask.

Thank you. That is all.

20 comments...:

  1. ah, we share the same life! craziness. especially when your sister gets pregnant and then everyone assumes it's you. that's happened to me a lot in the last 8 months.
    this is all so true.
    <><

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  2. ugh, some people make me so mad.

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  3. Kind of glad I'm not married or in a relationship now. It would drive me batty for people to assume I'm pregnant.

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  4. I love your blog! I am your newest follower :-)

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  5. Sounds like a page out of my life right now! Had to laugh at the drink thing -- SO true!!

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  6. Well said! I'm NOT married and have been asked that question - not cool at all, peeps! In the words of Salt n Pepa... "none of yo' business!"
    :)

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  7. I live this everyday!

    Someone recently asked me if I was pregnant. I told her no. She looked at me incredulously and said: Are you sure? You look it.

    That happened two weeks ago and I'm still trying to get over it.

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  8. you would think people could use just a few more seconds of their time to...well, just THINK. it would work wonders.
    i think apple fritters are amazing! and regardless of how thin or not, everyone should be able to enjoy one, guilt-free, every now and then. :)
    thanks for sharing this, i love reading personal anecdotes.
    xoxo, rose
    ChaiLoveVintage

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  9. sounds like some people need to simmer down a bit, in time right? Ugh, sorry for those folks in your life.

    Refuse a drink, come in late, eat whatever you want....just keep them guessing I guess!

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  10. It's amazing how free people feel to get into your business when it comes to that topic!

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  11. you'r right Blair - it is a gift between you, David, and God. LOL about the yours to tell not mine to ask.... I just told one of my students that this week. xoxoxo

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  12. I have crazy cravings all the time! I think the only reason people don't ask me if I'm pregnant is because my boyfriend and I rarely see each other since we live on different coasts. But I know the day will come that I'll just want a cider doughnut, and people will be wondering if a cider doughnut is really code for a bun in the oven.
    Have a great weekend, my dear!

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  13. This happens to me all the time and I just had a baby 9 months ago! I'm like please give me a break. I've come to learn with the knowledge that it will never end until someone gets the snip ship.

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  14. Amen! Thanks for visiting my blog, love yours :)

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  15. Oh my goodness, this sums it all up! I am so there. And the sad part is that I LOVE food. I am always craving something... sometimes sweet, sometimes healthy. But of course if I say anything, it's met with "Are you pregnant?" Oh Geez.

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  16. This is such an adorable, and yummy, post and your title cracked me up!

    Liesl :)

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  17. Oh, that's spectacular!!!! Well written. Me and my boss (who is a thin woman herself, me? not so much!) crave a good apple fritter from time to time. CHEERS!!!

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  18. hehe! that is too funny. i love it.

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  19. haha i just read this and it made me laugh. i've not even been married a year quite yet and the speculations have already started...especially with the excessive tiredness or hunger issue. geeeez.

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