Dear Satan,

You think you are better than me. You think you are better for me.

I am sorry that you believe these things.

Although sometimes I do find you attractive..haven't you figured it out: I'm just not that into you! Do I return your calls? Do I invite you over? What part of this seems like a relationship to you? Not only do I not love you... I consider you a mortal enemy! Please please PLEASE leave me alone!

Am I making myself clear? If not, let me break it down for you Jay Leno style -

10. You are ugly (very very internally ugly)
9. You waste my time!
8. You are crafty (and i'm not talking paints and paper mache!)
7. I don't like your friends.
6. You take disturbing amounts of pleasure in my pain.
5. I don't feel pretty around you.
4. You pervert the things I love the most to trick me into loving you.
3. You nag nag NAG & never shut up!
2. You pick on my husband and all of my friends.
1. You are a liar! Nothing you have ever told me is the truth. NOTHING.

Since I know that this letter will have no affect on you - that you will continue to call me, stalk me, lurk around me in the dark, stand ready to launch yourself on me during moments of weakness, disguise yourself as something righteous & fool me, and continue to feed my pet sins of insecurity, selfishness, pride, self-righteousness, and doubt... you should now that I have had no other choice than to take out an order of protection with the High King. Try all you want with Him. He can't be fooled.

Who is laughing now?

Con Odio,


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